Fifteen Years in the Bottom of the Well!

For the last 3 months, my life has been complete turmoil. I feel as if the Lord turned my world upside down and just started shaking. I have never been so confused. I have never lacked such discernment or doubted my own judgement so deeply. What in the world is going on? Why can I not make a decision. Why can I not trust my own intuition? I know right from wrong. I know what the
bible says about these things (as much as I am capable). I don’t have a single clue what I am supposed to do! I think I hear God’s voice but what he is asking of me does NOT make any sense at all. It is opposite of everything I have known but still, I hear that voice. I don’t want to admit I hear it but, there it is.

I picture it like this. Here I am sitting at the bottom of a dark well. I willingly climbed down here on a ladder. Something told me all along it wasn’t safe but, I didn’t come down here alone. I checked the ladder, I used safety equipment. I did everything exactly as I was supposed to. I have been down here for 15 years. Its not much fun but I have food and water and even a smartphone with unlimited everything. I have company and hey, God is here with me. He is providing all my needs. Who am I to climb out of the well. Besides, that ladder is really old now and the person I am with is very comfortable here and doesn’t want to climb out. It’s a long way to climb on my own and I’m older now. My legs are cramped from lack of walking and my arms aren’t as strong as they used to be but still, I know this isn’t how life was meant to be.

All the while that I am down here, God is at the top whispering, “psst, take a step to your right.” I am not quite sure I hear Him at first but, I know I need to do something. My friends are all shouting different things such as “don’t move.” “wait for God to save you!” “watch out for holes.” “climb up the ladder!” “Don’t climb!” “Do something”

So many voices it is so confusing!

God is still there saying, “psst, take a step to the right.”

Suddenly things feel desperate. I know I NEED to get out. I need to do it now. it has been so long! “God, please save me!”

“psst… take a step to your right.”

“What’s that? I can’t hear you! Should I go up the ladder?”

“Take a step to the right.”

“Why? I am afraid! I may fall! I have never been to the right. I came from the left.” I think to myself if God wants me to go right, He will move me himself, He will shine a light there. He will make it so clear! My friends echo my thoughts, some of them.

“Listen my child, go to the right. There’s a rope. Take hold of the rope.”

“I don’t see a rope. It’s so dark over there. I can’t see where I’m going. I will fall down deeper. Something bad may be waiting. It doesn’t make any sense Lord. Why won’t you save me!”

“My child, grab onto my rope and I will bring you to safety.”

“I can’t move, I am afraid! You are all powerful God, tie the rope around me! You can do anything! Lift me out!”

“My child, I cannot lift you against your will. You must hold tightly to my rope or you will fall. I will bring you up but the more mud you are covered in, the harder it will be to hold on. Please, do not go left for I see what awaits you there. I see the ladder that will break as you near the top of the well. But you can’t hear me child. You must trust me. Go to the right.”

“I am not sure so, I must wait. But, surely if I climb the ladder the Lord will save me from harm. He won’t blame me for climbing the ladder.”

“No, child. Do not climb. Walk to the right.”

“I’m so confused! I just think I’ll wait until I hear clearly.”

Been there? Still there? So many voices around you! One small consistent nagging voice makes no sense at all! Listen to it! Trust your own instincts! Sometimes it doesn’t make sense but, God is protecting you from harm. He cares about you! Yes, He normally tells us to stay out of the dark but, sometimes He just asks us to trust and take the first step. Do what you have known all along is right even if it is not in your comfort zone. Nowhere in the bible does it say we should be comfortable!

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Fifteen Years in the Bottom of the Well!

    1. It is so hard but once you figure it out, it becomes so clear that you always knew. someone recently said to me that you can’t always find the answer in the Bible because there are so many specifics (Some things are very clear) but you have to do what is wise. God gives us wisdom and discernment. Someone else said our hearts are evil and deceitful. And yet a third person that we have to lead our hearts not be led by our hearts. I have found all of these to be true. 🙂

      Like

  1. I do not know how to do some of these questions, so you can show me. You showed me my algebra along with your brother’s help. That worked, but don’t test me. I got what I needed, so thank you. Good luck in that deep wall! I am so wanting your to be happy with your decisions! I have felt sad for you many times. Be happy, my beautiful daughter. You may pray for others to find a better path, and that is fine. However, create your path carefully. When your heart starts feeling more calm, then you can take another step. You are so loved, and when you can love yourself all will begin to clear away the torturing pain. Walk tall and with confidence, Yes, questions will haunt you. What you do for your own path, will leave a model path for those who feel your pain. Love you always! Be kind to you and then it will be easy to be kind to others!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s